When My Mom Died
by amykaye
Summary: Delia's perspective of her mother's death and how it affected her. Please rr. My first Everwood fic, please be nice! :


  


I took the conversation about moving to CO directly from the show, I didn't make it up. Also, I changed some things to fit my story a little, but they shouldn't be too big. Hope you enjoy!

  
  
It was the night of Ephram's big piano recital. He was playing a particularly hard piece, but you would never know it the way he played. Piano was God's gift to my brother. He could play everything and make it look so easy. He could play Rachmaninoff like it was Chopsticks and Beethoven like it was Mary Had a Little Lamb. Those were the only two things I could play. Ephram always promised to teach me, but I didn't want to steal his glory. I could find other things to do. Besides, I'm not really a piano-playing girl.  
Anyway, the night of his recital it was pouring. So hard you couldn't see two feet in front of you. Ephram's friend and his mom picked us up because Ephram wanted to get there early, and Mom was running late from a meeting and Dad - well, Dad was being dad. He had promised Ephram he would come to this recital but nobody was going to hold him to that. I sat in the front and saved a place for Mom but as people kept going she didn't show up. Ephram played and she wasn't there. You could see how much it hurt Ephram that she wasn't there - he sat down next to me and didn't say anything, not even when I congratulated him. When it was over we went to the reception and Mom still hadn't snown up. We were both worried and tried calling Dad, but he was with a patient. Slowly people left till it was just me, my brother, and his piano teacher, James. We tried calling Dad again but nothing. Finally James said he'd take us home. Mom wasn't there when we got home. James said he couldn't stay to look after us, but we could get along fine without him there. We changed into pajamas and watched a movie. I fell asleep at some point and when I woke up Ephram was gone and my dad was sitting in a chair, his head in his hands.  
"Hi Dad. Where's Ephram? He did great in his recital. Mom didn't show up though. Is she back yet?" I asked sleepily, sitting up. My dad looked up and I could see tears in his eyes. I didn't understand why. He motioned for me to come sit in his lap. I did, and he put his arms around me.  
"Delia, your mother was in a wreck tonight. Thats why she wasn't at the recital."  
"Is she okay? Can I go visit her?"  
My dad was quiet for a long time. "Delia, the wreck was really bad. She's not coming back, honey." My dad hugged me to him and started to cry. I didn't want to believe it. I was uncomfortable, too. I had never seen my dad cry before, it was scary. But what was scariest was that I would never see my mom again. I hugged my dad back and wiggled out of his grip and went to find Ephram. He was in his room with the door locked.  
"Ephram, let me in," I said quietly.  
"Go away Delia," was his muffled answer.  
"Ephram, please, I-I'm scared."  
"Leave me alone."  
"Please, Ephram. I'm scared, I don't know what to do, and dad is scaring me," I said, starting to cry. I slid down his door to the ground. I heard his footsteps and the door unlock and when I looked up at him I completely lost it. My big brother was crying. Something I had never really seen him do. It made what happened real. He picked me up and hugged me tight and locked the door behind him. We sat on his bed and cried till we couldn't cry anymore. He pulled out his sleeping bag and let me sleep in his room. I felt bad about leaving Dad, but I was too scared. After Mom, I knew Ephram the best. We didn't really know Dad all that much because he was always gone. I guess thats what happens when your father is a brain surgeon.  
I spent the night in Ephram's room for a week. The funeral was especially hard. Ephram went up to say something and practically couldn't finish it. It was a really pretty day. I was almost mad. How dare the sun be shining the day we bury my mother? But I would also be angry if it was raining. I dropped a purple rose on the casket. Mom loved purple roses. Tears wouldn't stop falling down my cheeks. I had never felt so empty in my life. There was a big space in my heart that would never be filled. All I had now was Ephram and Dad. I was the only girl. No mom to tell boy stories to, no mom to help me when I 'became an adult.' These thoughts brought a new river of tears and I walked away. I couldn't stand it anymore. I sat in the car and cried until Ephram and Dad came back. I wiped my eyes and didn't say anything. I decided I hated people seeing me cry. It was hard not to when Dad put an arm around me and hugged me to him for the ride home. Even harder when people at the wake kept saying how sorry they were. I couldn't stand it anymore and went up to my room. Ephram had given me his Nintendo for Christmas and I plugged it and played it for awhile. Ephram came in and sat down next to me. We traded off levels for awhile until all our lives were gone.  
"Ephram, things are going to be different now, right?"  
"Yeah."  
"Will we be okay?"  
"Of course we will, Delia. Why?"  
"I mean, our family? Without Mom? Are we going to have to move? I don't want to move. All my friends are here. I like my teachers. And our house. And the city."  
"Whoa, don't get ahead of ourselves, kid. Dad has enough money so we won't have to move. We'll stay here forever."  
"Okay." I was quiet for a minute. "Ephram, do you miss Mom? A lot?"  
"Yeah, Delia, I do. A ton."  
"How are you dealing with it? Everytime I even think of her I want to cry."  
"I'm not dealing with it right now. I can't. Everytime I think of her I want to cry too. But it'll get easier after awhile. I think it'll be easier to remember all the good times we had together, all the trips we went on and all the good memories - and the bad ones too - after awhile. Losing someone isn't easy. You can't get over it with a snap of your fingers. It takes time, however much you need. Its different for everybody."  
It made me feel better Ephram felt the same way as I did. I didn't think I'd ever get over losing Mom. We went back to school a week after the funeral. I kept to myself a lot. My teachers didn't call on me and my friends avoided any mention of mothers or death. It took a couple of months before things started to feel somewhat normal again. I just pretended that Mom was forever away on a business trip. It helped me deal with it. I also imagined what she went through that night - the accident. I made her heroic, made her death quick and painless, made her think of us in her last moments. Every night I would tell myself I'd meet her in my dreams, like in Stepmom, and we'd talk and stuff like nothing happened. It only happened once, but I remember the conversation. I wrote it down and read it every night before going to bed. My friends started treating me the same again, I was feeling like an outcast or something. I don't think they knew how to react. Nobody had lost a parent in my grade, with the exception of Mark who was adopted and Erin who's dad died when she was a baby. So after about six months I had finally readjusted entirely. I still read the conversation every night. But things were back to normal at school and with Dad and Ephram. I don't think Ephram was totally recovered. I guessed it was because he had more time with her. And plus he just didn't get along with Dad. But anyway, about six months later Dad sat us down in our living room. I knew he was about to drop something on us.  
"We're moving WHERE?" Ephram practically shouted, obviously not happy.  
"Everwood, Colorado," Dad said, looking rather happy with himself.  
"Where's that?" I asked.  
"Colorado, moron," Ephram said angrily. I brushed it off. Thats not what I had meant. "Why are we moving there?"  
"Someone told me about it once. They said it was the most beautiful place they had ever seen. Its on this hill, or is it a mountain? Or maybe its on a hill by a mountain. Anyway, I was thinking last night that we should move there. What do you say?"  
"I say thats not even a reason."  
"I know, how great is that? We'll be moving to someplace for no reason at all."  
"Thats not great, thats crazy. Thats Harrison Ford in _Mosquito Coast_ crazy."  
"You say crazy, I say it might be the sanest thing I've ever done. Now, I want this to be a democratic decision so we're going to put this to vote. Everyone who wants to move...and get their own horse, raise your hand."  
What could I do? I've always wanted a horse. I raised my hand along with dad.  
"Well, that decides it."  
"Democratic? You bought her vote!" Ephram argued.  
"Yeah, thats the American version." With that Dad left.  
"I want you to remember this moment, alright? This is the moment when you conspired with a psycho to ruin whatever was left of our pathetic little lives," Ephram said to me. Then he walked off. I began to rethink my decision. I did want to move, sort of. But I didn't want to leave my friends, and especially not our house, where all my memories of Mom were. But I figured that mom had started a new life, in a way, and we should too. Maybe moving to this small town would bring us all closer together, something we needed to do.  
The night before we left, I took out the dream conversation with mom and read it one last time, then folded it carefully and put it in one of my books that were still unpacked, and vowed not to read it again, at least not for awhile. After doing that I felt like I had finally put Mom to rest and was looking forward to our move to Colorado. 


End file.
